


We don't love anymore.

by skyblue993



Series: Jonnor oneshots [35]
Category: The Fosters (TV 2013), The Fosters (TV 2013) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Connor does something wrong, Future Fic, Jonnor - Freeform, Love, M/M, Post-Canon, Sad parts, Songfic, Songs lyrics, reconnecting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 12:27:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8102386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyblue993/pseuds/skyblue993
Summary: “ He's under my skin --in my veins-- in my head. "





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title of this fic from the song : "We don't talk anymore" By Charlie Puth.
> 
> PS: just a brief moment to celebrate my 45th Jonnor fic! yay!  
> :D

_I just heard you found the one you've been looking for._

 

Connor never knew he would experience once again that same happiness, that jolt of electricity traveling through his whole body and into his bones, shaking him to the core that it usually came when he looked at him.

He thought _he was the one_ and how silly and delusional was Connor to really believe that he'd met the love of his life at the tender age of thirteen years old? But then he found himself lost into the depth of those blue eyes smiling at him and so wondrously warm like the sun as he introduced himself. “My name is Oliver. ” With that freaking British accent and Connor knew he was gone.

_  
I wish I would have known that wasn't me._

 

 

Jude hadn't been as lucky as Connor.

He'd met boys throughout high school and college years but he'd never found that thing into their eyes that had always made him feel that warmth twinkling into his chest.

He'd never felt that stifling sensation like drowning whenever he'd kissed someone. So Jude came to a conclusion that all the boys he'd dated had one thing in common.

They simply weren't Connor.

 

_Cause even after all this time I still wonder  
Why I can't move on._

 

He'd seen him or at least he thought he did.

“I saw him!” He told Oliver one day.

“Who, Jude?”

Connor nodded as he bit his lips because of the guilt settling into his chest.

He told Oliver that he thought he'd seen Jude as he walked down the street, but it was impossible, according to Connor because Jude lived in San Diego and he lived in LA

It was impossible that Jude took a train  to LA, he explained to Oliver, What he didn't tell him was how hope swelled into his chest that it wasn't just one of his hallucinations but Jude was real and in LA and came to see him after all those years.

 

_Just the way you did so easily._

 

Then Connor saw him again and he realized that he'd been right the whole time. He was sitting in the booth of the _Sunshine_ , new hit club in LA, sipping his beer as his coworkers were busy talking about their lives at home with wifes and how their kids were doing in school and he was bored to tears then His eyes widened when he saw him sitting down on one of the stools, ordering a drink and he almost chocked on his beer when he realized that he wasn't dreaming. Jude Adams Foster was just sitting there.

 

“Jude?”

Jude's eyes grew huge glimmering with emotion and fear as they locked onto Connor's.

“Hey, Connor. ”

_Same voice, same eyes, same love._

Connor was gone and so was Jude.

 

_If he's holding onto you so tight  
The way I did before. _

 

Connor's phone wouldn't stop ringing, he groaned and finally opened his eyes.

Connor wanted to die as soon as reality hit him with such a brutal force.

“Fuck.”  
“What?”

A muffled, sleepy voice that Connor had been dreaming of for the most of his life, played into his ear.

Jude's face was buried into his neck, where his soft breaths were tickling the skin there.

Connor sat up, running his hands through his hair and praying for the first time ever to wake up from this --very familiar-- dream.

“I-I-” Connor couldn't speak or move. He couldn't believe he did this to Ollie.

“Connor?” Jude's hand fell on his shoulder, taking it back immediately when he felt Connor jump under his touch.

“I need to go.”

Connor gathered his clothes.

“B-but what about us?”  
“I.. I need to go. I-..” Connor was having a panic attack as he pulled his shirt on. _“Ollie--”_

“Who's Ollie?”

Jude asked hurt and heart broken as he watched Connor cry. Yes. Connor, the man he happened to find again in his life-- he hoped-for good this time - was bawling his eyes out for another man, after they'd had sex.

 

“Jude. I--”

 

“Get out.”

 

_I overdosed._

 

 

Connor has always thought Ollie was cool. Too cool for him. Connor was a mess and n emotional trainwreck when he'd met him and Ollie fixed him, or at least it was what Connor liked to think.

 

“You cheated on me.” Oliver said with so much calm into his voice that honestly startled Connor. He'd expected at least some dishes or vases flying directly at him.

  
“Yes.”

 

Ollie closed his eyes, breathing sharply through his nose, looking for the briefest moment as he was going to have a breakdown and legitfully slap Connor in the face, or worse but then..

  
“How many times?”

 

“Last night was the only time. I swear Ollie, I-I'm not that person.” Connor breathed out as he waited for Ollie's verdict.

He felt like crap because he'd always considered people who cheat the most disgusting people in the world after rapist and murderers, and now he was one of them.

He could easily blame this on Jude but he knew he couldn't. He was there when it happened and despite his brain was completely clouded by alcohol, He remembered every bit of the previous night and how his walls he'd built around himself had completely been tore down when Jude's lips pressed against his own.

 

 

“I guess..” Ollie trailed off, thinking carefully about his decision that Probably a part of him-- the most rational and the one not completely head over heels for Connor-- was regretting.

“I forgive you, Connor.”

 

Connor was expecting to feel grateful and happy that Oliver decided to let that awful mistake slide but why Connor felt even worse? Why he'd hoped to hear him say.

“ _You're an horrible person, Connor. How could you do this to me?”_

 

He didn't want to admit that he was hoping for Oliver to break up with him because then he wouldn't have to deal with breaking up with Oliver. He'd made enough damages for the night.

 

“I c-can't be with you.”

 

“W-what?”

 

“You deserve someone who's in love with you, entirely.. I-I can't, Ollie.” Connor was crying and even though he was aware that he didn't deserve Ollie's comfort, he still leant into his arms.

 

“H _e's under my skin --in my veins-- in my head._

Y-You deserves someone that makes you feel that way. Ollie.”

 

Ollie's only words to him were, “You're an epic asshole but I appreciate your honesty. Take care Connor.”

 

 

 

_I just hope you’re lying next to somebody  
Who knows how to love you like me._

 

 

“Connor?” Jude's voice was filled with shock more than rage when he'd found him outside his Apartment's door.

 

Then something came back to Jude because his face turned into cold stone in no time.

 

“I'm sorry but I'm not up for a quickie this time.”

  
Connor told himself he deseved it.

 

“I told him I've cheated on him with you.”

 

Jude's eyes widened in shock as he gasped loudly. He wasn't expecting this, then Connor's next words came out through a shaky breath. Fear and guilt clear into his voice as he told Jude.

 

“I broke up with him.”

 

_Every now and then I think you might want me to  
Come show up at your door._

 

“I-I didn't ask you to! I didn't even know there was someone in your life! Now I-I screwed your relationship up and--”

 

Connor kissed him.

 

“You didn't.” Connor breathed against his lips as he coerced Jude into looking in the eyes. “ _I did._ You did nothing wrong. _I did_.”

 

“I'm so sorry, Connor.”

 

“I am sorry.” Connor said with soft voice, hoping to get this right. He had to. “He's forgiven me for cheating but I couldn't be with him because he deserves someone that

loves him completely.. not a piece of crap like me.”

“You're not a piece of crap.” Jude countered as he ran his hand through Connor's hair.

“ _You told me you love me last night.”_

“Yeah?”

 

Jude nodded as tears were gathering into his brown eyes.

 

“W-was It something you said in the throes of passion or--”

 

“No. I meant it.” And Connor didn't know how to convince Jude of his word. He understood Jude's hesitation. They were both pretty drunk the previous night so he knew what he had to do.

 

“ _I love you, Jude.”_

 

 


End file.
